MARRIAGE

Ever have a bad day being married? Relationships can get messy. This may be a good time to go back to a time before you were married. Think about the first time you ever saw the man who would become your husband and answer the following questions:

Where were you?
What time of the year was it?
Were other people there?
What did you first notice about him? Was it his smile? His eyes? His sense of humor? His confident manner?

Think about your first date?
Your first kiss?
Who did you tell?
What did your friends think about him?

When did you meet his family?
When did he meet your family?

Think about when you realized that he was the right man for you?
How did it make you feel?
Think about when he asked you to marry him?
Were you ready?
Were you surprised?
How did you react?

Think about all the plans that went into your wedding?
Think about your wedding day?
What did you wear?
Think about seeing him waiting for you?
Think about your vows and the commitment you made to each other?
Remember your feelings and the plans you made together for the future?

Where is your relationship now versus the place it was when you first got together? How does it feel?
Marriage may be a legal contract, but it is also more than that; it is a long-term committed relationship. There are three parts to a long-term committed relationship: the man and what he brings, the woman and what she brings and the relationship itself.

The relationship is a living thing. It grows and develops. Regardless of how many years you have been married the relationship needs care and attention. All relationships need work, need to be attended to. In our busy world today, we often take for granted the other person in our relationship. Remember when you were dating how you couldn’t wait to see each other, to share your day, your dreams, your hopes for the future? It is still important to have that communication. Remember too how excited you felt getting ready for a date? No matter how long you have been married remember to have a date night. If you can’t do it every week, try for twice a month and at the very minimum, once a month. You don’t have to spend a lot of money; you just need to spend the time with each other.

Quote from a man: “Men know nothing about relationship. Get used to it. My wife claims that I can’t be that stupid. Frankly, I don’t know what she is talking about. This is how I participate in the relationship. I jump through hoops. Some of these hoops are so stupid, I think about opening my mouth and saying something (bad of course). Taking out the trash. Taking the kids to school, getting take-out food so she doesn’t have to cook, helping her on her computer, vacuuming one room of the house, NOT touching the laundry, keeping her van clean and shiny, and full of gas -- that is fueling the relationship. What I am trying to say is that women seem to find new ways to fuel the relationship, and men do mostly the same things over and over. Women take the same things we do for granted and forget about them, and then think we don’t care or do anything. The bad part is that I think they remember after you are dead.”

What will you do this week to care for and feed your relationship?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day."
- Sally Koch, Author